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How Do I Develop My Child's Self Confidence


Think of someone in your life who has a lot of friends, gets far at work and seems to be happy most of the time. This person is likely brimming with self-confidence. Feeling good about themselves starting at an early age can give children an advantage that helps them gain friends, excel in class and overall go on to live a fulfilling life. But how can you boost your child's self-confidence? Read on

Assure them perfection impossible

Some kids are simply born with the urge to get everything exactly right. This can make being proud of themselves very difficult as they are striving for an often impossible goal. Children who have overachieving older siblings are also prone to feeling this intense pressure to perform. Tell your kids what matters is they do their best. Everyone has their own abilities, talents and interests, and striving for greatness is important but individualized. 

Children may want to do everything perfectly because they are afraid that you won't like or love them without straight As, wins on the court and completed chores. Reassure your kids that your love is unconditional - no matter their test scores, soccer goals and even behavior. 

"Earning praise teaches children to make their best effort."

Talk effort not results

Even if your child does his or her best to study for a spelling test, he or she may not get everything right. Reward his or her effort, not the result. The little one tried his or her best and that's what matters. Knowing that you will still be happy and proud that he or she tried is hugely reassuring to kids. This also encourages them to try new things and put their best effort into everything they do.

Offer choices

A big part of gaining self-confidence is learning how to make decisions. Parents sometimes forget that little ones can make their own choices and therefore don't offer the opportunity to try. To help your kiddos build their confidence and belief in themselves, let them choose. This may mean offering several options for dinner, allowing them to select their own outfits and more. Turn everything into a choice. You're still controlling what you offer, but your little ones get to feel connected to the positive outcome of a tasty chicken dinner or a fun, funky outfit to wear to school.

Provide assistance

Learning new things can be frustrating. Don't let your kids struggle without help - provide them with assistance so they can understand how to do something and then try it themselves. For example, maybe your daughter wants to try a paint by number kit. She may have a hard time remembering which numbers represent certain colors. Help her out by suggesting she paint a dot of color by each number in the painting key so she doesn't have to recall each pair. Remember, you can still encourage your children to try new things and they'll learn from trying even with your help. In fact, this shows that you're supportive and believe in their endeavors.

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