Many new moms wonder: what’s sex like after baby? Some are ready to jump in and find out asap, while other mamas cringe and profess that they’ll be happy with just spooning indefinitely. We’ve got the lowdown on what to expect in the bedroom after baby.  

1. You’ll Want to Wait at Least Four Weeks

The first two weeks after delivery, you’re bleeding and at risk of hemorrhage or infection, so sex is an absolute no-go. Once your postpartum bleeding ceases to be bright red, you’re probably OK to start having sex again, since this is a sign that you’re almost completely recovered. But many doctors advise waiting until your six-week postpartum checkup, when they can make sure everything has healed correctly (after all, your body’s been through a lot).

2. You Might Not Be in the Mood

With an infant in the house, you might find your sex drive has been replaced with a new feeling: exhaustion. Breastfeeding can also wreak havoc on libido. Factor in fluctuating hormones and possibly frustration at your post-baby body, and it’s pretty normal to have a decreased interest in sex after you’ve had a baby. Take your time and ease into the mood when you feel ready (we promise you will be someday soon).

3. It Might Hurt

The first few times might be uncomfortable or even a little painful for moms, especially if you had stitches. Experts recommend women try being on top to control the depth of penetration; if you had a C-section, a side-by-side position can prevent pressure on your scar. Take it slow, and make sure there’s plenty of foreplay.

4. You'll Probably Need Some Lube

Fluctuating postpartum hormones, especially if you’re breastfeeding, can leave you feeling a little on the dry side down there. To the rescue is your new best friend: water-soluble lubricant.

5. It Might Feel a Little Different

Obviously having a baby stretches your vaginal muscles, so you might have lost some muscle tone. Although they quickly begin to rebound after you deliver, it's likely you'll always be a little bit bigger than you were pre-baby. Try doing Kegel exercises every day to tighten your pelvic floor and improve your sex life.

6. A Glass of Wine Can Help

If sex is the furthest thing from your mind (but you wouldn’t object to pushing it to the forefront), a beer or glass of wine can help you relax and let loose a bit. If you’re breastfeeding, just have a small glass, and wait at least two hours before nursing again.

7. Your Girls Might be Super-Sensitive

What used to be solely an erogenous zone—your breasts—have possibly become a round-the-clock feeding station. With baby attached during most of his waking hours, breastfeeding moms often feel like a cow on a 24-hour farm—which is why some nursing moms declare that their sore and tender breasts are off-limits during sex.

8. Your Breasts Might Leak

The same hormone that’s released during orgasm is also present when breastfeeding, which is why your breasts might leak when you’re being intimate. To avoid a mess, try breastfeeding or pumping before sex, or wear a bra with nursing pads.

9. You Could Get Pregnant

You can start ovulating and get pregnant before your period returns. Breastfeeding aids in birth control, but it’s not 100% effective. So there’s a risk that you could get pregnant again if you have unprotected sex. Make sure you have a reliable birth control method in place before you jump into the hot and heavy.

10. Scheduling Might Be a Solution

If you’re concerned about getting back into it, or if you and your partner never seem to be in the mood at the same time, a scheduled session might be the solution. Put a date and time on the calendar in the near future, and spend the days leading up to it anticipating and visualizing the big night. With sex perpetually top of mind, you’ll be ready and willing when the moment finally arrives.