If pregnancy were the NFL, then consider labor-and-delivery day the
Super Bowl, which means, expectant dads, your child’s birth will be one of the most important events of your life, and your job is to be there for your
partner so she'll be able to deliver a healthy baby her way—or as close
to her original plan as possible. Here's how:
Be her number-one fan
In interview after interview, women have said that what
mattered most during labor was their partners' support. So smile,
cheer her on and help in whatever way she wants you to. If she needs you to
rub her back and murmur encouragement, do so. If she would like you to
run interference with her doctor, be there.
During labor, play head coach and take charge
She can't manage
everything when she's focused on riding the waves of discomfort, so
you'll have to step in. If your wife wants pain medication, make sure
the anesthesiologist is paged immediately. If morale dips, help her
refocus: Switch on the mp3 (if you brought one); move her to another
chair or position (if she’s mobile); and tell her you love her and that the
baby’s coming soon.
Attend to her physical comfort
Give her a back or shoulder massage or
apply ice- or heat-packs. Do whatever she needs to take the edge off
contractions, and be alert, because her needs will change quickly. One
minute she’ll want a massage, the next she won’t want to be touched.
Ignore the trash talk
Your partner could get cantankerous—pain will
do that to anyone. Try not to take it personally and pull back. What’s said
in the delivery room stays in the delivery room.
Bring the right equipment
Besides her packing list and her written birth plan, remember to bring for yourself comfortable shoes, a change of clothes, deodorant, toothbrush and breath mints. Remember: You're in for the long haul.
Fuel up
Bring snacks because you'll get hungry, too. But be
sensitive: Because of hospital policy, she may not have been able to eat
all this time and may not react too kindly to seeing you chow down. If
you’ve had a garlicky sandwich or a strong cup of coffee, pop a
breath mint afterward.
Be open to calling back-up from the bench
Some expectant fathers are just not comfortable in the role of support person. It’s okay if she relies on a
best friend, mother, sister or a doula (a professional trained to offer
emotional and physical support during pregnancy). Having that backup can
give you the confidence to be supportive in your own way.
The bottom line: “No one knows her better than you; no one loves her
better than you," says Penny Simkin, doula and author of "The Birth
Partner." ”Your continuous presence is one of the most important things
during labor and delivery.”