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How To Spark Romance After Having a Baby


Babies are wonderful, but they can be all-consuming, leaving new parents feeling like they have little time for themselves, let alone their partner. Reconnecting with your beloved can be hard, but put in a little work and it will pay off big-time, now and long-term. Here are 10 ways to restore the close relationship you had, pre-midnight feedings.

1. Go On a Date

a couple handing hands

Get out of the house together without your baby, even if it’s for an hour and you’re going right around the corner to the fro-yo place. Aim for once a week (seriously). If you don’t have a babysitter, ask a mom friend if you can start a weekly swap. It might be hard at first to leave your baby, but just remember this: the time out together will make your relationship stronger, and you’ll be better together (and better parents) for it.

2. Do Something Together

Young beautiful happy loving couple rowing a small boat on a lake

Find something that you both enjoy doing. It might be a standing date to sit down and watch a favorite TV show. Or you could challenge each other to a smartphone game (we’re partial to Words with Friends), complete a DIY home project, or take up jogging together. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you both enjoy it; the shared hobby will help bring you closer together, plus give you something to talk and think about besides baby!

3. Put Your Phone Down

a couple both looking at their phones while on a date

When you find yourself with a free moment with your partner, try to put away your smartphones and really talk and listen to each other. Studies have shown that just having a smartphone present--even if it’s not in use--while people are talking diminishes trust and relationship quality.

4. Schedule Sex

two people's feet poking out of bedsheets

You might not feel like hopping back into sex for months after giving birth, but experts (and regular people everywhere!) insist that your relationship will benefit from physical intimacy of any kind. It might sound conunterintuitive, but a good way for new parents to get in the mood is to make a date for it, preferably not late night when you’re likely to be exhausted and cancel. Think of midday or morning as the new midnight.

5. Pull Out the Pics

a couple looking at a laptop together

Before baby, there was you two, a couple of lovebirds without a care in the world. Open a bottle of wine, pull up the old photos and relive those fun moments together. It’s sure to make you remember why you fell in love and made a baby in the first place!

6. Listen With Your Whole Body

a young couple looking at each other

A major complaint from dads is feeling neglected after baby arrives, and that could quickly turn into resentment and hostility on both sides. One solution? Give your partner your full attention, as often as you can. The next time your partner tries to open up and tell you what’s going on with him or her, stop what you’re doing, make eye contact, and really listen. By giving your partner 100 percent of your attention, he or she will feel truly respected.

7. Get Physical

a on the beach looking lovingly at each other

You might not be able (or want) to do the deed postpartum, but there are other ways to be physically intimate. Mom365 mamas recommend showering together, massages, kissing, snuggling,  and pillow talk for gently bringing the sexy back into your lives.

8. Go It Alone

a woman reading a book

All new parents need some alone time, whether they’re working full-time or staying at home with the baby. Make sure you’re both getting your fair share by aiming for a couple of hours a week each. Take the time to do something you really enjoy, not running errands; this is your chance to refresh and revitalize, and return with renewed affection for your partner, your life, and your little one.

9. Think Small

a couple looking up in the air

Small gestures go a long way in saying <i>I’m thinking about you</i>. Why not take a minute to scrawl a love note on a Post-It and stick it on the bathroom mirror to be discovered? Sometimes it’s the little things that let your partner know you really appreciate him or her.

10. Don't Be Perfect

a couple at home eating takeaway food

When you have a new baby, there’s no reason why you need to spend your time cooking three-course meals or cleaning all the nooks and cranies. Your partner would likely much rather pick up take-out and dine with the dust bunnies then come home to a big meal with a tired, stressed mama. Cut  yourself some slack sometimes, and use the extra time and energy to relax together.