Even the strongest of unions can be challenged when you add a baby into the mix. It’s tempting to let your relationship slide while you’re busy caring for your bundle of joy, but it needs nurturing too!
Check out these ways to baby proof your relationship and make sure it’s still solid long after baby is grown.
- Remember That You’re a Couple First, and Parents Second
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In the sleep-deprived state of new parenthood, it can be hard to conjure the energy to show your appreciation and affection for your first true love: your partner. But happy couples make for happy parents and happy kids – so take very good care of that connection.
- Make Time for Each Other
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Everywhere you turn, you hear about the importance of date night, and there’s a reason for that: You need to spend time alone enjoying each other, or you’ll burn out. Put it on the calendar as often as you can, ideally once a week.
- Be Generous with the Praise
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You’re both new at this parenting thing, so mistakes are bound to happen. Rather than harp on the fact that he didn’t know which way the diaper went, focus on appreciating and acknowledging everything that’s going well, no matter how small the achievement!
- Skip the Nagging
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It doesn’t get you anywhere, and it’s certainly not helping you a) achieve your goal or b) strengthen your relationship. So skip the nagging whenever possible.
- Communicate What You Need
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New moms often feel overwhelmed trying to get everything done, but they’re not always great about communicating what they need help to their partners. Of course, no one is a mind-reader; all partners need to be asked, in a nice way, to help out.
- Make Time for You-Know-What
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New parents often miss the sex, which has a tendency to fall off post-baby. They also often complain there’s no romance since baby. Voilá, we have the solution! Schedule (yes, that’s pretty much the way it has to be now) private time alone together, and set the stage with dark lighting, candles, and whatever else the two of you require to get both of your needs met.
- Accept Help from Others
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Take friends and relatives up on their offers to help. It will help lighten up any stress you (and your relationship) might be feeling.
- See It His Way
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Moms and dads often see parenting and housework differently. So there is a chance that your guy really doesn’t see the mess in the living room, or feel as passionately about enrolling your five-week old in a language-immersion class. Before you freak out on him for leaving a dirty glass by the couch, stop for a second and think, wait a second, maybe he has a point – does this really matter? Chances are you’ll agree that, especially post-baby, these little things are really no big deal.
- Don't Keep Score
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It’s tempting to keep a running tally of everything you do versus everything s/he does, but in the end, no one is vindicated and everyone is resentful. So try to ditch the imaginary scorecard, and instead focus on communicating where you need help, while acknowledging everything s/he’s already doing.
- Go for Small Gestures
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If you're a brand-new mom, you might be feeling as though you have no time or energy to spare right now, but small acts of love take very little effort and add up quickly. Shoot off a text (or if you're bold, try a sext!) telling your partner all the reasons you love them, or pick up a little treat for your partner while you're out shopping. These tiny gestures send the message that although there is a new love in your life, baby will never replace your partner.