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How Moms Can Get Their Sexy Back

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"Ever since I had my son (6 months old now) I have been feeling very selfish/guilty about not wanting to be intimate with my husband. My main thing is not feeling sexy enough and embarrassed of still carrying extra pounds. I've yet to get back to my normal body and quite frankly I have no energy or 'desire' to get intimate. Is this normal? What can I do or take to give me that drive back?!?" - Leonsita

Hi Leonsita, as you can see from other group member questions, this is a huge issue for many women. And since feeling sexy is very much tied to physical appearance, it’s no surprise that if you’re not happy with your appearance, you’re not into having sex. Of course, there are a slew of other factors that might be working against you right now, including hormones (especially if you’re breastfeeding), possible pain (vaginal or if you had a c-section scar, in that area), and sleep. It’s amazing how much better moms feel once they get a continuous 5 hours of sleep.

a young couple lying in bed under the covers

But even if you don’t have any of those issues going on, you've got the extra pounds you’re carrying and more importantly, the lack of confidence in your body right now. So here are two things you can do to get your sexy back in the bedroom:

1. You Don’t Have to Take Your Clothes Off to Have a Good Time

So maybe that’s a quote from a cheesy song, but in this case, it rings true. Dig out a good bra or a tank top, and keep it on during sex. You may have a silky tank and boxer short set lying around; these actually work well too, and if they’re loose, you can even leave the bottoms on while you’re doing the deed.

2. Turn Off The Lights

Forget mood lighting. In this case, turn everything off. You might be surprised how much your confidence comes back when you don’t feel as though you’ve got eyes staring at your body. And even though your partner might be able to still feel your extra weight, think of it as something for him to grab onto.

3. Be Nice to Yourself

Most important, take it easy and give yourself a break. You’ve still got a wee baby and that’s just plain exhausting. Do your best to enjoy your curves and let your partner do the same. You’ll burn a few calories in the process. Who knows? Sex might just be the way back into those pre-pregnancy jeans!

 
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