Mom Lesson: Time Flies When You're Rasing a Kiddo

Posted by Rachel Engel

Waiting six months for my husband to come back from a war zone felt like a lifetime. And my senior year of high school seemingly had no end. But the first year of my child's life? I swear I blinked and she was one. Where the heck did 12 months go? And how did I miss it?

It feels like a few months ago that she learned to hold her head up. And it couldn't have have been more than a few weeks since she learned to crawl, could it? Why has my concept of time evaporated when it comes to my kiddo? How did she get so big?

Clearly, I was there for all those milestones, but it just doesn't seem like it's been enough time. I'm not ready to be the mom of a one-year-old. I want my little baby back, the one whose legs didn't hang over my arms when I carried her to her crib, and the one who didn't have a choice when I wanted to cuddle her, who didn't have the freaky toddler-strength she now posseses and can wrestle herself out of my grasp and onto the floor, headed straight for something she's not supposed to touch. You know, the little squishy bump I brought home from the hopsital? How did she get so big so fast?

I know I didn't help. At the same time I was wishing for time to slow down, I was also wishing she would change. I'd hope and hope and hope she would learn to hold her head up, and got so excited when she accomplished that. Then I would get selfish and start wishing for her to learn to sit up, and afterward for her to start crawling, and... really, the fact that she's one and so independent is all my fault. I pushed her to grow up. If I hadn't let her do tummy time so often, and if I had just held her all the time, she'd still be my little baby who needs me, instead of a feisty, independent little girl who pushes me away so she can explore.

Way to go, mom.

Well, that's it. I won't make the same mistake again. As we gear up for year two, she can just forget about learning anything new; we're going to stick to eating baby food, and I'm still going to hand-feed her myself at every meal. I'm going to squash this learning-to-walk kick she's been on; no need for her to become completely mobile. Transitioning from a crib to a toddler bed? Nope, doesn't need to happen, she's still a baby, and babies sleep in cribs. It's a done deal. I'm sure this is all going to work out just great.

Although, if I don't let her learn anything new, I'll never get to put her in gymnastics like I've been itching to do. And she'll never learn to talk in full sentences, so she can ask me to color with her, or to play games. I won't get to take her to her first movie, or teach her to ride a tricycle. Man...

Okay, Mother Nature, I'll allow you to let her grow. But, can we try to slow the pace down a bit?



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