Fear of embarrassment can make parents nervous about letting their kids join them on their grown-up outings. After all, who doesn’t remember, pre-child, looking askance at that harried mom in the museum who couldn’t control her kids? The anxiety can ricochet: “Kids react to your stress, and your stress level raises theirs, and they get cranky and irritable,” explains psychologist Dr. Darlene Link, a mother of two who works with children and families in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania.

“As parents, we worry too much about what other people think,” says Trintje Gnazzo, 34, a Winchester, Massachusetts mother who, with her husband, includes her toddler and preschooler on many of her outings. “The less I worry about it, the more fun we all have together. Yes, there’s some planning involved. But what’s important to remember is that it’s an experience with your children. The more you can keep them involved, the more successful those trips are.” 

Involving children in your world helps them to feel part of something exciting and new. It’s a privilege, and as such, it makes them important. And, with the holidays coming up, it’s a great way for the family to share some of the best of what the season has to offer—a concert, a special museum show, a nice dinner out, festivities at a friend’s.

Even babies and toddlers can get a lot out of trips that aren’t tagged “family-friendly,” says Stefanie Powers, a child-development specialist at the Washington D.C. nonprofit center Zero to Three. “They absorb new environments through all of their senses,” Powers explains. “As children get older, you can talk with them about those experiences.” Start them young, she adds, and by the time they’re preschoolers, they’ll feel comfortable in a variety of grown-up settings. But, cautions Powers, if you want everyone to have a good time, you must have reasonable expectations, be flexible, and plan ahead.

Next: Take your baby out to dinner.