Is Breastfeeding a Turn-Off for Dad?
What's Good for the Baby Might Be Bad for the Father
Posted by Morgan Benzian
Extended breastfeeding has been a hot topic (again) in the news. One husband and father recently admitted in a NY Times parenting blog that watching his 5-year old son breastfeed during a family picnic in Central Park made him lose his appetite for more than just lunch. He lost his appetite for his wife.
This dad, a writer named James Braly, was left wondering: Is breastfeeding good for relationships? It's undoubtedly good for babies and small children, but at what point does it start to hurt a marriage? Breastfeeding is a personal choice, but should the father's opinion on the matter be considered, too?
Honestly, I don't know if the specific act of breastfeeding affected my marriage. So much changes when you have a baby, it's hard to pinpoint one issue and say, "There. That's when it all got crazy." I do know that while I was breastfeeding, my breasts were pretty much off-limits to anyone except the baby, and by the time my children weaned, my husband was chomping at the bit to reclaim his territory. Me on the other hand? I was ready to put a chastity suit of armor on for the next year.
It's something that most men just don't understand - the feeling of growing a person for 9 months and then, after they are born, having them attached to your body for most of the day. At some point a mama just wants to be left alone.
But I can sympathize with the dad who misses his partner's tatas. I mean, they tend to be one of the more appreciated parts of a woman's body. And while many men know they are going to take a backseat once the new baby comes, at some point, they want to drive again. You know what I'm saying?
So, what happens when a mother decides to extend breastfeeding beyond a year? What happens when a father goes 2, 3, 4, or even 5 years without being able to enjoy his partner's body? The decline of a sex life has a huge impact on a relationship and, as a consequece, the entire family. Does that mean extended breastfeeding might be good for the child but bad for the family as a whole?
What do you think: did breastfeeding affect your relationship with your partner?
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