Oedipus Rears Its Head in My House
Posted by Kristi Gilbert
When I went to my little educational forum and took my early childhood education classes, I listened, I took notes, I absorbed. I was particularly interested in the Freudian psychosexual phases of life. You know what I mean; the oral, the anal, the phallic. That last one is where my son lives right now.
Last Friday, that phase become a reality in my home. Well played, Sigmund.
Mommy, here's a present. And I'm going to marry you.
Now, I'm not going to lie. I've lost quite a bit of that particular knowledge. The biggest reason is because I don't teach anymore. If you don't use it, blah blah blahity blah.
Oh, but I remember the Oedipus complex. How could I forget? The first time a boy falls in love, and it's with his mommy. Better yet, he's super jealous of his daddy. Actually the way the story goes Oedipus unknowingly kills his father and marries his mother. Somewhere in there, he becomes king. Ego awesome although creepy.
The phase itself though is completely normal. As long as it goes away.
Considering my current situation, I'm frustrated knowing how to handle it only from a teacher's perspective not a parent's! Scratch that, not a mommy's!
I didn't panic...much. I didn't really react. In fact, I ignored it. The first time he said it. I held onto hope that it would just be a one time "cute" sorta random thing.
Then this happened...
Mommy, take off your rings.
Because I don't want you wearing them anymore.
But I can't. Daddy gave them to me and we are married so I can't. I made a promise to him.
I don't like them. Wear them over here.
---pointing at my other hand.
Sweetie, I'm not going to do that. I wear the rings on this finger as a promise to love your daddy forever. It means a lot to me.
I don't like you, mom. You aren't nice.
Joy and rapture!! Maybe it was enough to nip this particular phase in the bud.
He proceeded to tell daddy that I was going to marry him and "Sorry, Daddy," and such. He went as far as creating alternate mommies and daddies like us, but different. These parents play baseball, marry him, and then die. In that order.
I'm really hoping that this phase is not one that creates tantrums or too many yucky words with daddy or more imaginary dead parents. I'm thrilled he is discovering and learning about people and relationships. It is such a huge part of his growth. He's growing up so fast before my eyes.
Soon enough it'll be discussions about his own wedding. And I'm not ready for that yet either.
3 back to baby